he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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