So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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