we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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