dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
