I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
whose ass print is on the piano?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
