Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
