were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
