he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
