u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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