She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
