i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
