3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
where are my eyebrows?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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