So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
