I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Randomize
