I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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