Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
