dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
