so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
