What a fucking waste of an outfit
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
time to smoke my breakfast
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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