just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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