She said her name was "party"
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
