Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
