I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
