I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
