come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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