ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
