is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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