Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
