i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
