Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
