I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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