Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
