Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
