Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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