Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
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