Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I didn't notice because vodka
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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