There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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