If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
