What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
