Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
