She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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