I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Randomize
