I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize
