I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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