I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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