sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
P.S. I can't hear my feet
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
