Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
