I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
