I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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