y did u give ur computer a hand job?
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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