I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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