Me too!
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
