He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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