If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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